Throughout my adventures in this event planning world, time and time again I am asked a lot of questions (which is a given considering my field) but these questions sometimes are hard to answer because it’s truly based on you and your family and your traditions.
For example: parents paying for the wedding.
Brides and grooms alike ask me if they should ask their parents for financial help in their wedding. Talking Money is always a difficult task but sometimes it’s necessary and if you both feel that you need to speak with your parents then do! But know that sometimes, in most situations, once you involve parents in one aspect, then they would like to be involved in other aspects of the wedding as well.
Not necessarily. Again, this is a personal family tradition question. In my experience, I still do see the bride’s family financially contributing over the groom’s but they don’t usually pay for everything. They’ll pay for the dress or the cake or even the venue but not necessarily the whole thing. It truly depends on the couple’s financial situation. We Milennials tend to be more independent at an earlier age so there is less necessity to depend on the parents paying although it’s always so nice for the contribution. Anything helps and I can guarantee you that six hundred here and a thousand there will eventually end up being in the five to six digits.
This is very personal and it depends on every child to parent situation but, essentially, all parents love their kids, especially the ones that offer financial contribution to their wedding. If you don’t want them to have a final word in event planning then maybe incorporate them in the wedding in another way. Maybe wear the same style gown your mom wore at her wedding or incorporate the same cake style that your parents had at their wedding.
Somewhat. If you’re parents are paying for the whole wedding, it’s always a nice gesture to include them in the event planning process. I know when I schedule meetings for my brides and grooms, majority of the time I have to include a parent or two because that’s what just comes with the package. Not only that, they are your parents and without them, where would you be? Now that I say you can involve your parents, doesn’t mean they have to have the FINAL say. They just want to be involved...they love you and they want to be with their kids every moment that they can. With that being said, you can set up a situation in that they have a say but not a final say. For example, lets say your mom wants to attend the tasting and wants to “assist” picking the food. That’s perfectly great but you don’t want to be put into a corner as to which foods you want to pick versus your mom's picks so set a little control over the plates. If you want beef then ask the venue coordinator or caterer for the tasting of two different beef options and have your mom pick from there. Same with venue, pick your top three options and walk through with your parents and you’ll be guaranteed happy nonetheless. It’s a win/win situation.
Honesty is key! Be honest with them in the beginning so that later on everyone is on the same page. Each family is different but a common factor in every family dynamic is communication. Sure we sometimes get frustrated or short tempered but try to be patient, they are contributing after all, and even if they're not, they're still your parents! Nonetheless, communication is very important and without a solid communication, there will be headaches and overall negativity. Having the ability to communicate patiently and honestly with your parents and family can mean a world of positive difference in the event planning process. I can promise that!